It all starts with the best carne sada bought at Eddie’s Market in Linda Vista (6585 Osler St., San Diego, CA 92111).

The foil thingies are tilapia, then we have chicken, and of course the carne sada.

Potatoes that look like asscracks, but actually just taste like crack (the good kind of crack).

Don’t be worried; that is not sasquatch’s arm. It’s our friend Shaun Bro. Sorry, didn’t mean to scare y’all.

And of course the hands of Tory T is cutting up the meat. We told him if he cut the beef then we’d give him some chicken. I’ve never seen a black man grab a knife so quick. Well, O.J. Simpson…

The main reason why we cut up the carne sada into strips is to prevent your greedy ass friend (who invited like 20 dudes to the BBQ) from grabbing 3 full steaks all for himself. Yeah, we see you. And if you’re gonna bring hella dudes to the BBQ please bring enough beer for us to forgive you for making the BBQ a swordfight fest. Thank you…love you.

Now we’re ready to eat….(even though we’re still mad about the 20 extra dudes at the BBQ)

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Quick question: Who really eats a daily breakfast like the happy family to the left?

Please speak up. I am by no means a stupid person, however, I can’t figure out a logical answer to this question. On the same token, I’m not Einstein nor do I know how to flip a DeLorean in a way where I can go forward to visit my future self, but when I first asked myself this question I thought I could come up with a simple answer. 35 hours and beers later; I’m answerless. The only logical reason the man in the picture can whip up a dish like this on a daily basis is (A) he’s been smoking crack all night and cooking breakfast is just a part of his trip, (B) he’s cheating on his wife and guilt has driven him to become heavyweight champion of the breakfast world, or (C) he is not the dad of the family. In fact, he is a time traveling cyborg designed to warn the world that armageddon will come in the form of evil uprising gay nano robots. Sadly, this cyborg took the wrong bus and ended up being enslaved and reprogrammed into a butler. Poor cyborg butler….I feel for your struggle man. Fight the power!

Personally, I haven’t had a sit down breakfast of this picture’s calibur since……(I’m thinking)….well, put it like this: my mustache hadn’t arrived on my face yet. The hussle and bussle of the morning does not allow me (as well as most of us) to free up 2 morning hours to cook up such a feast. My breakfast is usually eaten at 1pm and is something most of us would call lunch. Sometimes, when I remember, I’ll grab a granola bar from the cabinet and eat it while I’m chillin’ in traffic. That’s as far as my breakfast goes. Shoot, I can’t even remember the last time I ate cereal and had enough time to solve the maze on the back of the Trix box. Oh, the dice of life has crapped out on me many times. Don’t feel sorry for me though…as a bachelor, I can eat dinner in my boxers. I’d say not having a Brady Bunch breakfast is a fair trade.

So, TV show breakfast eaters of the world, PLEASE RAISE YOUR HANDS! I want to pick your brain…and pick up your leftovers every morning…..PLEASE!

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Contrary to popular belief, the life of a bachelor has many downfalls. However, on the other end of that stick, the life of a bachelor has a few perks. One major upside is the topic of food. You can eat what, when, and wherever you want. For example: a bachelor can eat on the floor, sitting Native American style in his cartoon boxers while watching cartoons in his cartoon comforter. My favorite bachelor food story is the time my buddy told me that he was eating spam straight out the can like a finger food. I’d personally like to go into more detail on that particular story, but we’ll save that one for a rainy day.

On this particular Sunday, my boys’ Rico (AKA Puerto Rico), Steve-O (AKA Steve-O), and Norlen (AKA Nor) invited me to join them for a 4pm breakfast at a joint called Studio Diner (4701 Ruffin Road, San Diego, CA 92123). This diner isn’t named Studio Diner just because it’s a snazzy name. No, no, no Mr. President. It’s actually named Studio Diner because it is located an underhand stone’s throw away from San Diego’s only film studio. Did I forget to mention that the diner is shaped like an old school movie set trailer? Very creative indeedy-deed.

So, on this eating adventure we all ordered a variation off the Studio Diner’s “two egg and something else” breakfast menu. I ordered eggs (scrambled) and hash, Steve-O ordered the same, Puerto Rico got his eggs with bacon (fat bacon strips mind you), and Nor got his with sausage with an order of pancakes on the side. All these egg meals also comes with hash browns and toast. A feast built for royalty, but in an ironic twist, we are not of royal blood; thus the meal being branded as an extra special event.

The staff was just as great as the food was. Our server, Jennifer, was very pleasing to the eyes and quite the observant conversationalist. She had noticed that I had a Guam emblem on my keychain and quickly sparked an interesting conversation regarding her uncle, a cook at Studio Diner, originating from the island of Guam. Her being a pretty young lady and me being detached from the relationship world, I threw some flirty jabs at her. However, Jennifer being a professional at her job, she quickly took me out with a one, two combination and I was out for the count…figuratively that is.

All in all, this breakfast was the pinnacle of what a bachelors breakfast should be. What more can we ask for? Maybe some fellatio, but I can live without that for now.

Puerto Rico holding up two plates like a championship trophy and Steve-O’s hand; ready for some breakfast destruction.

Nor with the fatty pattycakes…and Steve-O getting his reverse thizz face on.

Steve-O looking all cute with his amazing biceps. Nor showing Steve-O how to execute a real reverse thizz face.

Eggs and Hash (not the illegal hash you smoke out the pipe)

Nor’s pancakes………

Breakfast gets destroyed….

Can you spot the bread arrow??? Puerto Rico writing a haiku in his head about hummingbirds; He’s just deep like that. Steve-O looking where he shouldn’t be looking, but he is looking there anyways like “Yeah I’m looking over there and I know the camera is on me and I still don’t care. Kumite!! Kumite!! Noktsuka Noktsuka!!” It’s a Bloodsport thing.

Studio Diner is so hip that they even have a MySpace page…just like all the other cool kids we know. Check ‘em out @ their page.

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Paris has The Eiffel Tower, ramen noodles are a college student’s best friend, and the hip bone’s connected to the thigh bone. What do they all have in common? Nothing really, I was just getting tired of searching for a way to start this entry.San Diego , Californ-I-A: Home of the Padres, Chargers, and the Taco Shops. The Friars may not have swung their oak into the World Series, Norv Turner might’ve thrown off the tempo of an already on-beat pigskin team, but S.D. Taco Shops never seem to have a bad season. Case in point: carne asada fries. A collaboration of America’s favorite finger food and Latin America’s party chow of choice. If only the United Nations could get along this easy.

This popular San Diego dish starts with a foundation of french fries topped with carne asada (marinated grilled steak), guacamole, cheese, and sour cream . Because I don’t bring a scale with me everywhere I go, I’d have to guesstimate that this meal clocks in at about two pounds or more. Most warriors who attempt to tame this beast tend to splash the monster in hot sauce AKA salsa. I’m a fan of the green salsa; I can’t stand that red stuff. Salsa is a must when it comes to carne asada fries. No salsa is like Tom Selleck with no mustache…it’s just not right and it’s a little disrespectful.

As you fellow San Diegans know, “The Greatest Taco Shop” argument is a very historic and heated debate amongst the San Diego locals. I’ve seen many people get pile driven into the ground for sparking up that never ending cage match. Fact: All San Diegans have a taco shop that they call home and they will defend their shop come hell or high water. My home is the Roberto’s located by the Chargers training camp (5150 Murphy Canyon Rd Ste 109 at Clairemont Mesa Blvd San Diego, CA 92123). Not only do they have free chips, free hot carrots, and the best salsa, but they also have Street Fighter II. The only fall back to my home taco shop is that they close early compared to the other shops. They close at 10pm while many taco shops are 24 hours. YES, you heard me correct, 24 hour taco shops! Even still, who dares put their taco shop up against mine?

Another weird fact about the San Diego Taco Shop scene is many of the shop names end with “berto’s”. For example (and I’m really not joking), there is a Roberto’s, Alberto’s, Gualberto’s, Nolberto’s, Noberto’s, Humberto’s, Rigoberto’s, Reyberto’s, Eiberto’s, Jilberto’s, Aiberto’s…just to name a few.

So if you’re ever in San Diego make sure you stop by a local taco shop and tell them RamenDays.com sent you. You won’t get any discount by telling them we sent you…we just want you to give us free promotion, haha. Also, make sure you are about 3-4 feet from a bathroom. Trust me, you’ll thank me later.

If you don’t like fries you can also get the Carne Asada Chips. MmmMmMMmmm!

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