Their last Samurai died in 1877. Sadly, he was a Caucasian alcoholic who was a traitor to his own nation; not a very good draft pick. Oddly, he looked very similar to dude from Top Gun….strange. Then in 1940 they signed the Tripartite Pact that pledged their allegiance to the Axis Powers during World War II. However, the empire bounced back from these shameful events when in 1949 they murdered the motor vehicle industry with the Dream D-type Motorcycle equipped with a 98cc engine. Ever since then, Japan has had more hits than Whitney Houston’s crack pipe. Here is a small list that I can conjure off the top of my head:

-Eating champ Takeru “Tsunami” Kobayashi
-That creepy stair climbing robot created by Honda (We will most likely be fighting these things in World War 5. Well, I’ll be long expired. Our children will fight these things. Sorry kids. I suggest y’all sweep the leg.)
-10 cent sodium enforced Ramen
-Noriyuki Pat Morita better known as Mr. Miyagi (Although, he was born and raised in the U.S. and does not carry a Japanese accent)
-Sushi (NOTE: California Rolls are as sushi as soul food. So, don’t get it twisted my ninja)
-Pixilated porn vagina
-Cell phones so sophisticated they can literally offer you fellatio.

….and the Japanese continue to tickle my interest bone with their mind blowing contraptions. So, without further ado, I introduce to you:

Taste is not a potent enough word to describe how you would experience one of these wasabi peas made by the brilliant people at Hapi Snacks. You wouldn’t taste a Wasabi Pea; the wasabi pea takes you on a voyage. This mini adventure starts at the spicy hillsides of wasabi canyon, detours through the lush neighborhoods of crunchy boulevard, and ends when you exhale at nose burn valley. And the best thing is, when you’re done, you can use the leftover tin can to store your favorite drug(s) in…the gift that keeps on giving…until you overdose and die a very lonely death in your studio apartment that’s above a bowling alley in the bad part of town. So, basically what I’m saying is this: Go out and treat yourself to some Wasabi Peas before you die of putting too much heroin in your body. Congratulations!

Cheers,
Caleb

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