RamenDays.com

In a world where the civilized die young and the bad are blessed with extra lifelines, it’s no surprise that common courtesy has almost completely taken a back seat. And though backseats are pretty comfortable (and a sign of unplanned, sporadic, uncomfortable sex), I think I would really prefer it if common courtesy drove the bus. Here’s proof that even the smallest kind gesture is getting lost in the sand trap of today’s ways. Imagine…

You are at a BBQ that consists of half friends and half people you’ve never met. Ohhhh that girl down yonder is fiiiine…HOLLA! Nah, not the one by the cake…the one in the red by the tree….follow my finger….SHNAP! THAT’S A GUY WITH LONG HAIR….ABORT!!

So, there you are shoving loads of dreamy BBQ chicken down your throat. “Oh my goodness, this chicken is the greatest thing since sliced throat (or is it bread? Ahh whatever.)”, you say to yourself. 30 minutes and 3 plates later you are officially a stuffed turkey. Now it is time to grab a cold one, catch up with your peoples, and hopefully meet a new lady friend that is single and just getting off a horrible relationship. <sports commentator voice> and Kobe with the rebound!! 5 hours, 3 girls denying you of their number, and 137 digital camera pictures taken later the sun starts to clock out and the night time is due for its shift. It’s time for you to head home and sink into “TBS Dinner and a Movie”.

Once you step into the house you speed to the bathroom; you have to urinate like a racehorse that has to pee like a racehorse (yes, it’s that bad). After a well deserved release of liquid into the toilet you turn on the bathroom sink, cup your hands to fill with aqua, and splash it on your greasy face. Ahhhhhhh, feels good!! Then you lift your face up and smile into the bathroom mirror to check out your pearly whites. And that’s when it happens…not only do you have a piece of chicken between your two front teeth; you also have several black BBQ flakes ON the teeth…not to mention a nice neon green cilantro just marinating on your bottom tooth. Ha-ha! No wonder why you weren’t getting any love with the ladies. You had your Oscar the Grouch look going full force. Ahh man, plus you took many, many pictures with you smiling from ear to ear exposing your teeth that look like dice. This is entertaining for me and crying on the floor sad for you!!

Don’t front cause there is a rumor that there is no future in the front. You know that this has happened to you before Mr. Ice Cold Cool Guy. I confess, it has happened to me on several occasions and the question that always appears in my head as soon as I see this embarrassing garbage in my teeth is: “WHY IN THE CAPTAIN KANGAROO DIDN’T ANYBODY TELL ME I HAD SOMETHING IN MY TEETH!?!?” My friends (who I love dearly) would clobber a drunk guy at the bar for me, so why can’t any of them do something as small as doing that motion where they point at their teeth as a signal that I have something in my teeth. Why didn’t anybody just simply say, “You look awfully stupid with 75% of a rotisserie chicken in your teeth.” I’d rather be called stupid by a friend than look stupid in front of friends and strangers. No matter if the person is a stranger or a friend, I’ll let them know, “Yo, you got something in your teeth”. It’s a simple phrase and gesture that will make life easier for another; kinda like giving a girl oral sex…you really don’t get anything out of it, but making somebody feel good is a feel good feeling…feel me? The new movement this summer is: LET THEM KNOW!

How have you felt when this happens to you? What do you do when you see somebody with stuff in their teeth?

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