Michael Wilks was a hungry man when he entered a Canton, Mississippi McDonald’s restaurant.  He ordered and paid for two filet-o-fish sandwiches, then left.  When he went to eat his lunch and reached into the bag, he found that there was only one sandwich and became infuriated.  Wilks approached the fast food establishment’s manager and point blank shot him in the arm for messing up his order, reports WLBT.

Hoping to avoid police, the 36-year-old man then fled from the restaurant and checked into an American Best Value Inn and paid for a room.

SEE FULL STORY AT NEWSONE.COM.

“What he order? Fish Fillet”. Apparently, one fish fillet too short ‘Ye.

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As I said in my lumpia recipe prologue, I didn’t listen enough as a little booger faced kid to absorb my family’s lumpia recipe. So this is my attempt to make one of my own. Lumpia recipes are usually passed down within the family from generation to generation. Since I am currently without a family, I’ll be passing this recipe down to the cashier at the thrift store I love browsing at. Maybe even my gangbanger landlord from 2003.

Making Filipino lumpia is the easy part. All it really is, is a mashup if veggies and meats rolled up into a wrap and fried. The hard part is finding the correct combination of ingredients then making enough lumpia to feed a legion. What’s good about lumpia is if you make too much or if that girl you invited over flaked on you cause she met another dude while walking to your place, you can always throw the surplus in the freezer and they will taste just as good when you thaw and fry them. Unfortunately, I can’t give you advice on the girl. May I suggest you buying a set of gold teeth?

For this particular recipe I used 1.5 pounds of ground chicken (most Filipino meat lumpia recipes use pork) and chopped carrots, half a large yellow onion and garlic. Also, a few hefty dashes of black pepper and garlic powder. The only thing I did different than what I’ve seen my family (and friends families) do is precook the meat prior to wrapping the ingredients into it’s torpedo form. It’s common for lumpia meat to be wrapped raw and then left to cook while being fried. Since I’m a fan of food going into my mouth and never back out of it, then I went ahead and browned my ground chicken just to be nerdy like that.

So after you’ve chopped all your veggies and precooked your meats, throw all the ingredients in a large bowl and mix. Follow the instructions on how to wrap your lumpia by using the pictures above. Please make certain that you use a raw scrambled egg to seal up the wrap as pictured above. It’ll keep the ingredients from unwrapping while in the fryer. Repeat until you have enough to fill up a 1971 VW Superbeetle. Preheat a tub of oil to 450 degrees and fry until Terrence Howard brown, not Wesley Snipes brown.

If you don’t partake in meat eating activities, bean sprouts are usually used as an alternative to meat to satisfy you vegamatarianites. The most popular dipping choices for lumpia is ketchup, soy sauce mixed with vinegar, sweet and sour sauce and sriracha. But if you’re a mega Filipino with a Filipino nose, such as myself, then you will dip your lumpia in massive amounts of banana ketchup.

And there you have it. The ancient art of rolling up stuff and frying it.

Water > Any other beverage > Getting into a fight with a drunk grizzly bear

Belvedere posted this ad on their Facebook page, but quickly took it down and has since released apologies from acting president Charles Gibb via Twitter and Facebook. Welp, all I can say is, at least it wasn’t a Hitler ad. Basically, whenever something is tasteless or disrespectful, all you have to say is, “At least it wasn’t a Hitler”.

I thought it was really cool that they self punished themselves quickly and made a donation to rainn.org – an anti-sexual violence organization.