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Nothing Beats A Home Cooked Meal. Oral Sex Comes In Closest.

May 29th, 2009 · 6 Comments

There are many things that money can’t buy. I’ve composed a list of a few things below:

-good conversation
-Tom Selek’s mustache
-abs of steel (or any other type of metal)
-hacky sack skills
-unicorns breath
-a grandmothers cooking

Nothing Beats A Home Cooked Meal. Oral Sex Comes In Closest.

Now, let us focus on the last thing on that list – a grandmothers cooking. There is no greater experience than visiting home to find the meal you so much enjoyed as a child now presented to you in front of your face. You are ready for the tasty, tasty morsels about to hit your tongue….and then you wake up because it was all a dream (you used to read Word Up magazines). You sit up in bed, sweating like a fat girl rockin’ a Starter jacket in Las Vegas and  you realize you’re in your crappy 200 square foot studio apartment. You also have a roommate who works the mid day shift, so when you’re trying to get some sleep he’s on the X-Box playing Madden 2009 online with some bi-sexual guy in Germany. How did your life come to this? Just 8 years ago, when you were still in high school, you were THE MAN with the master plan. Chicks would pay you to <bleep> their <bleep> and then you would <bleep> about two of her friend until the <bleepin’> sun came up. Now you wear your dusty letterman jacket while sitting in your cigarette smelling lazy boy, driving the same car you did in high school while your hairline recedes so far back your forehead starts at the back of your neck. Suicide seems more and more of a viable escape as the days pass. OH, WHAT A WORLD!!!

Wow. That took a turn for the worst. Let’s start over shall we?

Like I was saying, it’s great to come home to find a home cooked meal on the table. Every time I come back home to the bay area I hope my grandma makes a Filipino dish called dinuguan AKA chocolate meat (it’s a pork blood stew that turns black)  and mongo beans. I also gotta have my grandma’s fried chicken. That’s my grandma in the picture above HOOKIN’ IT UP WITH THE FRIED CHICKEN DAAAAAAAWWWG! mmmMMmMm delicious.

dinuguan Nothing Beats A Home Cooked Meal. Oral Sex Comes In Closest.

Dinuguan

 

mongo Nothing Beats A Home Cooked Meal. Oral Sex Comes In Closest.

 

Mongo beans

What are your favorite home cooked meals?

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Tags: cool · comedy · asian · chicken · main course · mind body soul · dinner · observational

6 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Candice // Jun 1, 2009 at 1:09 am

    Oral sex should always be better than food.

    Apparently she’s not doing it right. :razz:

  • 2 Caleb // Jun 1, 2009 at 5:36 pm

    Hey Candice, it’s not the quality I’m worried about. It’s the quantity. Maybe I should have you talk to some of my “friends” about this, yes? I mean really. It’s 2009. Get with the times people!

  • 3 The One // Jun 6, 2009 at 12:58 pm

    :roll: good sex, good food thats prepared in a restaurant and a great woman. I have one- a great woman!

  • 4 BK // Jun 6, 2009 at 11:04 pm

    dinuguan baby…that’s my shiet! i can bathe in that shit…shit, i could have sex in that shit! pause.

  • 5 arLENE // Jun 9, 2009 at 12:41 pm

    i love grandma’s dinuguan!!! it’s the best. it’s the only one i eat. anything else is impersonating the truth. :mrgreen:

    luckly, we still get the luxury of eating Gma’s food everyday. this just made me realize how lucky we are & jdilla & millie.

  • 6 arLENE // Jun 9, 2009 at 12:42 pm

    p.s.
    i also love her kare kare, hella good!!!!

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