Flaming Hot Funyuns: Onions From Hell
I was standing amongst the collar shirt army waiting for my food like any other day. My eyes were aimlessly shooting this a way and that a way. Another hopeless work day; another lackluster 30 minute lunch. But this day was different. A quiet, yet soft, voice in my head said, “Point your eyeballs to the rack of chips. What you’ve been waiting for your whole life is just a few steps away. Also, remember to pick up detergent…the kind that smells like ocean breeze.” So I trotted on over to said rack and what did I see????
BLAM!!!
I screamed out loud, “What in the United Negro College Fund is this!!?!? Are my eyes deceiving me!!?? If this is a cruel joke I will literally cry on the floor in the candy isle.” Nope-this was not a prank. I grabbed a bag and proceeded to hold it close to my chest like a little girl would do her favorite doll. Yes, I agree that a grown man hugging a bag of chips is an odd site to witness. But so are no arm pushups…and I am a man who loves his no arm pushups.
Flaming Hot Cheetos are my avocado facial. Funyuns are my shiatsu massage. For years I’ve been waiting for these two monsters of flavor to combine. This is all I’ve ever wanted in life. I can now die. Please bury me in a gigantic bag of Flaming Hot Funyuns.
Check out my review on Andy Capp’s Hot Fries
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OMG.. is this TRUE? This is intimidating.. flaming hot oniony goodness? I feel like.. nothing in life will ever compare.
THIS IS AMAZING ALMOST TO AMAZING HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE FLAMING HOT FUNYUNS A GIFT FROM GOD IF I CAN EVER FIND SOME
@ Kelly: Nothing will compare? I wouldn’t say nothing…have you ever tried jacuzzi sex?
@ OOMY: …most likely a gift from a big time stoner.
caleb u know u nasty how old r u
u 2 kelly dat’s jus 2 much info 
I found some in the store yesterday in the large bag. I have been eating them nonstop since. They are the most wonderful thing I’ve ever had, to this point Flaming hot cheetos have been my favorite food, this might just win…I wonder if they are a regular thing now.
I’m wondering if their a regular thing now too. I always want to buy like 15,000 bags of them whenever I go shopping just in case they are just a limited thing. hmmmmmmmmmmmm, I could make so much profit if I stock up now and they stop selling them.
Think Crystal Pepsi.
i felt lik buyin 18,00000000000000000 bags of em i wish i waz a queen of hot funyuns!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dat will be a dreem cum tru
You’ve got to try em with Lime, You’ll be transported to a magical land of Flames!
Hmmmm, really? Lime…wow. I can’t imagine how they would taste in my head. I’ll try it and get back to you with that one. I have a bag of limes in my fridge.
These are AWESOME, I’m just outside of St Louis and I get like a bag a day
where can i order flamin hot funyuns
@ Frank: A bag a day? Hmmmmmm, I can see myself doing that.
@ Junior: It’s crazy caused I Googled “order flaming hot funyuns” and I came up with nothing. It’s crazy because right now I could order a battery for my razor, a used snorkel, download blueprints to a time machine, and learn about Hitler’s crazy old ass…..BUUUUUUUT…I can’t seem to find an order link to flaming hot funyuns. If you really, truly want some sent to you I have no problem shipping you a care package. On your tab of course. Drop me an email: caleb3000@gmail.com
“What in the United Negro College Fund is this!!?!?” OH GOD I LAUGHED SO HARD I CHOKED.
And yes, the funyuns are beautiful ;__; My addiction to Hot Cheetos has been destroyed to make way for this new, amazing addiction.
Kerstin, I am sorry I almost made you choke. However, that was the first time when choking was not so bad of a thing. I’m glad you’re addicted to these bad boys. Hmmmm, I guess that’s the first time that addiction is a good thing. Hmmmmmmm, how about an addiction to choking? Now that is a the way to go.
Funyuns are SO. DAMN. good, I loved them ever since I was a kid.. it’s like.. crack to me.. can’t.. stop.. eating.. Now they have “Hot Flamin” kinds? I’m sorry for all you ‘Hot Flamin Funyun” lovers out there but I just don’t see how this kind is so much more different then Hot Cheetos… They taste the same to me.. Don’t hate me! I’m just a fellow Funyun lover expressing her mind! So…don’t hurt me… because I’m beautiful.
JK on the last thing ^^;
eva since u waz a kid
how old r u 
dahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh who doesnt know dat
Have you tried the wasabi flavored Funyuns?
nop but i bet dey nasty dey probably dont hav tast 2 it
@ Tiffany, how dare you come to my site and disrespect me and my hot funyuns
haha just kidding. Sometimes the flamin’ hot taste could over power anything, but I personally think it’s a nice mix with the onion flavor of the Funyun. Maybe you should do that move with the butterknife like you over toasted bread. Just scrape a little off the top.
@ Megan, ohhhhh yeah Wasabi Funyuns are good too. A little stingy in the nose, but very good.
wat dew u mean by stingy in da nose
wat ur snot waz cumin iz wasabi funyuns hot
4 all Flamin Hot Funyun lovers like myself, if you go to the following link
http://www.fritolay.com/our-snacks/funyuns-flamin-hot.html
and on the left side of the page click on “where to buy” put Funyuns in the box click continue then it will ask what kind of funyuns, flamin hot of course then put in your zip code & bam u will get a list of stores where 2 buy the best snack since flamin hot cheetos were invented!!!
Good find HoneyB. Now if you can find where we can buy Crystal Pepsi you will be crowned the champ of all food finding champs.
Ok so far I have found out that Crystal Pepsi was discontinued somewhere between 1996 or 1999. There are people selling collector bottles unopened on eBay but as for the fresh from the Pepsi plant drinking bottle I emailed Pepsi about that.
Stay tuned for there reply
Ohhhhhh we’re getting closer and closer now. I can smell the carbonated water already.
wat ru talkin bout
Dear Honey,
Thank you for taking the time to contact us at Pepsi-Cola. It’s always great to hear from our loyal consumers.
As you may or may not know, we’ve stopped producing Crystal Pepsi. In the past, Pepsi had distributed this flavor in several markets, but it didn’t sell as well as we had hoped and so it was discontinued.
There are no current plans to reintroduce this product, but I’ll be sure to forward your comments to the appropriate individuals here.
Again, many thanks for taking the time to contact us. We appreciate your friendship and support.
I tried buddy
My previous post was a copy of the reply email I received from Pepsi. The emoticons were my touch, just thought I clarify that for anyone who would say thats not real. No company would use emoticons.
Honey B – Wow, way to research it!!! It makes me sad (very sad) that they’re not bringing Cyrstal Pepsi back out. If only I was of drinking age so I can experiment on the millions of tasty possible drinks that Crystal Pepsi could have made.
If you want Crystal Pepsi back, I would suggest you Tweet to Conan about how you miss (1) his show (2) Crystal Pepsi and (3) having the two together. He seems to love helping people on Twitter these days. Just saying
Yo!! I stole a bag of these from a house party on NYE…I cried like a baby.
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh know i cant trus u dat iz a shame
Megan – Or maybe I can tweet Crystal Pepsi and ask it to bring Conan’s show back? Dunnn dunnn dunnnnnn
Mel – I wouldn’t exactly call it stealing if the people left it out during a house party. I’d call it stupidity on the part of the homeowner. Kinda like leaving some bomb out, calling over your weedhead friends and then later wondering why all your herb is gone. However, if you had to go through the cabinets to take the Hot Funyuns…well…I’d call it, “doing what you were supposed to do”. Hot Funyuns…what a trophy.
So.. The other day I was walking down the street with a few friends and I decided that it may be a good idea to walk in the store. For two reasons, 1 I had to pee, and 2 I wanted something to snack on..
Usually I would go reaching for a bag of Flamin’ Hot Cheetos, which have I yet to mention are the best thing in the world, I eat at least a bag a day! 
My favoritest snack in the world, but anyhow, I was making my way down the isle where the hot cheetos are located, and as I went to grab for a bag, I noticed these Flamin Hot Funyuns! I decided that I should try some… Now I have a bag of either Flamin Hot Cheetos, Flamin Hot Muhnchies, OR NOW FLAMIN HOT FUNYUNS! 
Question: When you say ‘pee” does that really mean ‘steal’? Let’s be honest.
wat is you talkin bout caleb dis iz about hot funyuns u post da wrong thang
um not gettin iny of dis
i frist found them at the coner store by my home then ever time after that they didnt have them any more until i went to winco and found the big bag i love them so much i can eat them all day ha!!
wich corner store were do u liv
oh my god dey r so delicious i cant stop eatin them i wonder were you can git da largest bag from hhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmm? i looked every were. i’m so addicted 2 dem.
i finally ft bag found owt were u cin git da biggest bag frum cuz mi math teacher eat em n i asked hur she sed walmart but everi time i go der i can’t find dem she probably dont live n meridian but im glad i know were dey r
my friend brenda lucio sed dat shi saw em at dollar tree i gotta get my HOT FUNYUNS
if yall dont lik em somethin is REALLY wrong with u
i lik hot fries, hot chesters,hot funyuns,hot chedder fries n plz tri it with tostitios cheez da plastic cup kin u will luv it
dowz wasabi funyuns look nasty yukk
did u know dat dey gothot fries with lemon i should tri dem
man t innawl
man mi frend dat i waz talkin bout brought am large bag of hot funyuns n i wasn’t at school i waz sic mi stomach waz hertin it started 5:30 n i started throwing up 
at least i told mi frend to bring a notha bag thank ya jesus 
i havent had hot funyuns n a long time I WANT HOT FUNYUNS KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM SO MAD
how cum yall havin bin makin mor cumments? yall need 2 2 dae im d onli 1.
Clarionna, you might just be the one person that loves Hot Funyuns more than I do
Have you tried the wasabi Funyuns? They are kinda ehhhhh alright.
nop wat do dey tas lik
i bet dey nasty n if i c sombodi else with hot funyuns n dey hand n not min dere iz gonna b a problem i havent had hot funyuns n a long time cuz i cant find dem n da stow i betta fin em well atleas i asked mi mama can shi tak me to all kinz of stores n shi said yea 
shi alwaz nice iz yo mama nice yes no mayb p.s mi mom iz cool 
caleb how old r u
n wat school do u go 2 n white or black 
i didnt mean 2 sae it lik dat but u know wat i mean right 
man man man
i ask mi dad cin he tak mi to da stow by da hospital caz i think dey got hot funyuns n he sed yea den at 2 o’clock i went 2 a party n mi aunty gav mi some chips n mi dad had piked mi up n he saw mi wed em n he sed u dont hav to go to da stow know i cin probably go da next time i hope 
HEY YALL !!!!!!!!!!!!! HAPPY VALENTINEZ DAY
WAT DID YALL DO 4 VALINTINEZ DAE ?????????
im gettin tied of all of yall i think im jis d only 1 on here
yes
yes 
yes 
i finally found hot funyuns thank you jesus 
yesta dae i went 2 save a lot to get a snac n wen i turned around there it waz hot funyuns d 
hunger grab bag man i felt lik cryin so i waz finna pay 4 it n mi mama sed i’ll pay 4 it den she told mi 2 get 2 bags so if i want hot funyuns i jis gotta go 2 save a lot n if yall get all of em dere iz gonna b a problem im jis shock 2 see em again 
oh yea
oh yea 
it gets betta n betta i told mi mama to by mee sum mo hot funyuns n she sed alright den shi chec mi owt of school n i saw my delicious beautiful hot funyuns boy wat a dae i howp dis will be dis wae everi dae and den i got sum cheese dip 2 ok 
yea uha yea uha yea uha yea uha yea uha yea uha yea i got somemore hot funyuns yes yes yes today
yall guess wat i saw at save a lot you know the bag of small bag chips they got hot funyuns hot fries hot chester and lemon hot fries in small bags
n i got me a bag yall shudd git sum im glad i got some 
man they ran out of hot funyuns aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh they made me mad they get on my nerves
You are like a Hot Funyuns machine!
well i jus love some hot funyuns im gone buy some today if they have some im jus sitten on jango.com listening to aaliyah man im so mad that she died n it was in 2001 thats the year that i was born i was bout 1 years old why she died ? cause her stupid dum pilot was on cocaine it waz in his system and the only thing i think about is hot funyun and aaliyah its justa crazy life right know . its like its just be me and you the one that be on this the most they need to get they butt on here right know what are you doin are you on facebook if you are what is you email and password cause im not on there why i need your password is because im trying to see my friend facebook page but if you give me all that information thankyou
boy watch yo mouth what’s wrong wit you are you new on this site forget about that u need to come down
oooooooooooooooooh i got 2 bags of hot funyuns !!!!!!!!!!! i just got through wit one bag already and im not tellin were i got em from
hey everybody im bac!!!!!!!!! it’z been a minute since i been on dhis site
Hi Clarionna!
these things are like crack…I cannot stop eating them, I am truly addicted, wish I had never tried em!