Crazy Roommate Food Stories

Since flying out of the nest at 19 years old, I’ve had two roommates. Fortunately, those two housemates were excellent all across the board. Bills were paid on time, sex noise was blanketed by 90’s R&B and food was a non-issue. I’ve always wondered if me being male and both roommates being female was a big factor. An important feature in a roommate living situation is how food is bought and partitioned. In the two roommate households I lived in, we had a “what’s mine is yours and what’s yours is mine” policy that worked out flawlessly. We both bought groceries at an even level and if a last of a particular item were remaining or something looked too out of the ordinary to just pick up and consume (like birthday cake, tyrannosaurus egg yolk, etc.) then we’d just ask if the particular items were up for grabs.

Unfortunate for some of you out in People Land, you’ve had roommate food nightmares so bad they have made you impotent. My humility level in the roommate food department went on overdose after hearing roommate stories from friends that whole turkeys went missing, entire grocery trips worth of food were used for BBQs and Hot Cheetos were used as dog food.

Do you have any juicy roommate food related stories?