RamenDays.com

Hi, it’s me, Caleb – Your host chillin’ by the wood post – a little brother, a military brat, a cold pizza eater, a smiler for pictures, a Yelper of places I’ve never even been to before, a fan of WWII history, a person whose never seen a movie in 3D, a passionate ping pong player, a long winded blogger, in West Philadelphia born in raised on the playground is where I spent most of my days and most importantly – an American. Even in my lifetime the stereotype picture of an American was a Caucasian cowboy frying a steak in the open desert, wearing circulation cutting Wrangler jeans under a moonlit night sky while smoking a Marlboro Red. Where this cowboy happened to find and preserve these perfectly cut steaks? Well, that is beyond my intellectual means so we’ll just chalk that up to good ‘ol imagination.

That cookie cutter image of an American is slowly fading away. In a good way or a bad way? That answer is either here nor there. What is very apparent and should have been very apparent from the jump is that America was never really just that one cowboy. America has always been a mash-up of cowboys/cowgirls originating from: Italy, Uganda, Pakistan, China, Ireland, Spain, Jamaica, Russia, Japan, France, Samoa, Iraq and the many other nations that have cooked in this kitchen we call The United States of America.

Hi, My name is Caleb. I am a Filipino/Hawaiian cowboy. Yee to the haw!!! [pause]

To commemorate the Fourth of July I decided to make a simple breakfast inspired by my fellow citizens. A breakfast remix!!! <turntable scratching> *chicka-chicka-chicka*

This recipe is going to go quick so install your fast eyeballs.

I have much respect for my Latin folks. Plus, they have the sexiest accents ever. A couple weeks ago I asked a Mexican girl how would I go about saying, “Your skin is the color of chocolate” in Spanish. I forgot how it went, but when she said it, I nearly dropped chocolate chips in my pants. So to big up my caliente Latin peoples I soaked some Navy beans for a day and threw them in a pot. This recipe is easier than saying Mariachi (Ma-ree-ah-chee). After soaking, all I did was throw a half a pound of beans in a pot, poured a half cup of water over the beans, poured a can of tomato sauce over the beans, a taste of pepper, a taste of Lawry’s seasoning salt, 5 garlic cloves chopped, a can of diced tomatoes and one chopped onion. Heat to boil for 2 minutes then lower heat to medium-low, cover and let cook for 45-one hour. Mix every now and again. You’ll know when the beans are ready when they start to split

To big up my European brethren who came to America through Ellis Island I cooked up some Bar M Hot Sausage Links. What Euro nation didn’t bring their own style of sausage off the boats and into the mouths of hungry eaters? Oh come on, don’t be perverted now. Okay, you can be a little perverted, but only for 3 minutes. But remember, 3 minutes of perviness can cost you a lifetime and a half in jail. Then the perviness is turned on you.

Sausages and links are very easy to cook. All you do is heat a pan up to high heat. Throw your links in and cook them on high heat for 1 minute. This will seer the outside of the links. Once the outsides start to brown, turn down your heat to medium and cook for another 5 minutes. This technique will give you a crispy outside while having a juicy inside.

“Yo mowf is juice-eeeeeee….”

Hello my Irish brohams! Using the oil of the sausage links I threw a bunch of chopped cabbage right on top of the links just for you. You’ll want to throw the cabbage in with the links after the links have been cooking for about 3 minutes. That’s enough time for the oil in the links to start seeping out so the cabbage can cook in it. Cook the cabbage until it’s a little transparent. Not exactly corned beef and cabbage so I’ll say a couple Hail Mary’s for that food sin.

White rice. Come on. White rice. A person without sense of taste can guess what part of the world I’m going for here. White, steamed rice. Come on. White, steamed, catching flies with chopsticks rice. Got it? White, steamed, Jackie Chan, country raped by Magellan and his explorers rice. Come on.

To represent the economical hardships that all us Americans been going through lately, I scrambled some eggs. Just plain ‘ol scrambled eggs. When times are tough a carton of eggs can get you through the evilest levels of broke. Eggs also give you the evilest levels of gas. Also, the shape of an egg reminds me of how one of my cousin’s body is shaped so not only will an egg feed me, but it also reminds me of how much I miss my family.

Alright. Since y’all were having trouble with the white, steamed rice, I turned it into some garlic fried rice. Come on. Garlic fried rice. Come on, you can do it!!

To turn your white rice into garlic fried rice you can use the oil from your finished sausage hot links. All you do is take 3 cloves of garlic per 1 cup of rice. Throw your garlic on the oil (high heat) until the garlic starts to brown. Still on high heat, throw your rice into the pan and continuously keep the rice moving. A continuous mix of the rice is very important because the rice can and will stick to the pan very easy. Toss in some black pepper to taste and your garlic rice should be done in 2-3 minutes.

Best show in the world. Rest in peace Captain Phil Harris. Can you spot the mustache?

And there you have it. A clashing of cultures into one hardy breakfast. I know I didn’t touch bases on all the cultures of America so for that I will allow you to name my first child. The only catch is you can’t use any vowels and the name must have the letter ‘Y’ in it.

What, you thought I was going to forget my African-American buddies? How dare you.

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